SOB turned into Prince Charming

LOVESTRUCK.
[written in stream of consciousness]
Remember Allen? :)

So Allen and I have been spending a lot of time together working on this horrendous project. The worst part about working with Allen is that I cannot concentrate AT ALL. We end up wasting so much time (not really wasting time, just not being efficient) talking for hours and playing games online and reading interesting articles, listening to music you name it. The worst part? I barely know anything about this guy. The best part? Having these incredible feelings for a guy that I don't even know that much about. So how did I get these feelings? and so strong? Contrary to what I first thought, Allen in incredibly passionate about music (as am I). The way he talks about the music infecting his body is exactly how I feel when I connect with music. It is such a turn on! You know those people who dont smile often, but when they do their smile brightens the room? That's Allen. His smile is contagious. Everytime he looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes and big grin I immediately look away to hide the HUGE smile that involuntarily spreads across my face. During our meetings we find eachother just staring into eachother's eyes. I find myself openly tracing his eyes, lips, cheeks, body...I want to kiss him so bad. Sometimes I find myself leaning out of the chair, my body telling me to "do it already!" but my brain kicks in and stops me before I can. I find myself compiling a list of questions I want to ask him. I want to know everything about him. So here is the problem that I have. Formal is in 4 days. I don't think I'm going. Why? Because first of all I don't have a dress (I could easily get one) but most importantly, I don't have a date and I refuse to ask Allen because he HATES the Greek scene. Honestly, I want to spend Friday night with Allen, just hanging out, in a non-academic scene. The other day Allen was bugging out about some article he read called, "The science of heartbreak". He said he could relate to various parts of the article. "It sounds like you know from expereince" I inquired. "Yes" he said. I told him he didn't have to tell me if he wanted to. "I do want to tell you, let's just say that last year was a really hard year for me" he said, "We' ll talk about it some other time" Every day since that talk I have been contemplating different situations that could have potentially happened. The saddest part? Allen told me "After that experience I am completely numb and I don't think I'll ever be capable of loving again" my heart dropped. literlly. I want to comfort him, tell him how incredible he is, tell him how much I smile inside and outside when Im around him/thinking about him. I want to make him happy. I want so much to tell him I like him but it's too early to tell if it's recriprocated. Also, summer is coming and absence makes the heart grow fonder. The good thing? We have two classes together next semester :) So for now, we will be friends, hang out and I'll pine for him secretly until the time is right. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

infinite x's and o's <333

Sophia