Here's to Hope

So, it's Vivienne again. I recently learned (through the tried and true F&FI method - that is Friends & Facebook Investigation) that Frank and "the nice guys" have something going on this very weekend where they bring dates. Frank's friend asked a friend of mine... which had me at a loss for hope of any success in securing an invitation. But, then I learned from a mutual friend that Frank has no date yet.

Now most people would consider this to be a positive, but hope is driving me crazy right now. I can't do anything but wait, when I want to know NOW even if what I find out is bad news. I just hate the idea of fostering unachievable wishes. Wouldn't you rather know, than analyze yourself to death in anticipation?

Excuse me for getting all self-reflective, but maybe this all goes back to girlish prom night dreams. In high school, I didn't get asked to my own prom... I had to bring a date from elsewhere. I had an AMAZING time, but a part of me is still sad that I wasn't asked to go with someone.

I had gone to other proms, but to be asked to my prom by a man I had waited for? To have the fantasy become a reality? After seeing so many ridiculous TV sitcom and cartoon scenarios where such dreams are realized, that was the goal. That's what I wished for when I was little. It didn't happen for me then, but now it's as if there's another chance. Here I am, well into college, feeling like an insecure high schooler hoping against hope that the handsome, popular guy asks her to the dance.

I keep on trying to expect the worst so I won't be disappointed, but I know I will be if things don't turn out the way I want. I guess the truth is that I'm still a blushing, nervous, infatuated girl who can't help but believe in miracles. So, I dedicate this post to that sick little bastard hope. Here's wishing he won't let me down this time.

Over and Out and Always Yours,
Vivienne